Monster Mama

Tonight while wrestling (literally) Hannah to bed she screamed at me, "You are a Monster Momma, Go downstairs!"

I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing.

You see, it all started when Hannah moved from a crib to a big girl bed several months ago.  Pre-Big Girl Bed bedtime was a beautiful thing.  Hannah would curl up with her ba-beak and paci and would float off into dream land peacefully.  When she gained freedom we ran into problems. Suddenly she was out of her bed, tearing up her room, dragging everything out of her closet, and drawers and climbing furniture so she could "see what up there."  Lately things have gotten worse.  She now leaves her room and wanders through the upstairs.  Here are just some of the things we've found her doing:

1. Wiping her bear's bottom with an entire roll of toilet paper in the bathroom because "he went poop."
2. Sitting on top of Blaine's bed (with him sleeping in it) stacking books from his shelf all around his body.
3.  "Reading" after taking hundreds (or something like that) books off her own shelf.
4.  Slapping Blaine in the face, while he was just falling asleep.  I can assure you this did not end well for her.

Nearly every night we battle her for a good 30 minutes but most of the time it lasts an hour plus.  We put her in time out, take toys away, and put her back in her bed so many times every night I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

For the last two nights I have had a new strategy. After prayers and kisses and all that sweet stuff I leave her room once and stand outside the door.  The first time she gets out of her bed I put her back in and stand, arms crossed, next to her bed and every time she sits up or attempts to hit or kick me I gently lay her back down on her pillow.  Not only am I standing guard but I don't answer any questions she asks nor do I speak to her.  She doesn't like this... not one bit.  Here are my favorite sayings from the last few nights:

1. HG gets into downward dog position and before I can lay here down she says, "You like this Monster Mama?  Yes or No?  You like this?"
2.  Rolling around her bed, "You like this way?  Yes or No?  Answer me!"
3.  Go downstairs Monster Mama!  GOOO!
4.  Muttering to herself, "Mama is so mean to me.  Daddy holds me down.  Brother hits me.  I get out of my bed."
5.   My feet are cold.  I don't want a blanket.  My feet are cold.  I don't want a blanket.
6.  I hungry.  I need some vanilla yogurt.  No... cereal.  No... a banana.  My feet are cold.

All in all we've had more sucess with this than with anthing else we've tried.  Last night I only had to stand in there for 20 minutes and tonight it was about 25.  Not bad considering most nights we're up there for an hour or longer.  Monster Mama is on a mission... wish us luck :)

And then there is Mister.  Three years ago next week we put Blaine on a Gluten Free diet hoping to get some relief from his sleepless nights and unexplainable aggression.  After just a week on a GF diet Blaine was sleeping through the night and has since that day.  Though he still had his struggles we also noted fewer emotional outbursts and lengthly tantrums.  We've talked several times about introducing gluten back into his diet for a test-run and finally did it this last weekend.

Let's just say that today was Mister's last day on gluten... again.  Gluten free is the way to be for our Mister.

David noticed that his behavior was significantly different (worse) just a short time after consuming gluten but I was in denial mainly because I would love for him to be able to eat like everyone else.  I was looking for changes in his sleep and since we didn't have any problems the first night I was hoping and praying that we were in the clear and then last night I got my answer.  I don't know what time it was but I heard the screams - the same screams we heard so many nights when he was on gluten before.  He screamed our names and I ran to his bedroom.  He was sitting up in his bed, terrified of something but he didn't know what.  He cried and screamed and when I told him I would lay with him he calmed down but then after an hour he was not able to fall asleep so I brought him to our bed.  I thought for sure he would fall fast alseep but he didn't.  He tossed and turned and sat up and just couldn't fall asleep and then after not sleeping in at all, he was a disaster.  Exhausted and full of gluten he was an emotional mess this morning.

He enjoyed eating gluten.  He even said "Gluten is not treating me too bad," so it was hard explaining to him that it would be short lived.  He doesn't see his sleep problems and behavior like we do so he doesn't quite get why he can't eat gluten.  He always thought it was going to make his stomach sick and now he knows it doesn't... so please pray that this next transition goes well and he goes back to GF with no problems.

We have one more family day together before David goes back to work and we all get back to the grind.  And as I write this, it's almost 2013!  I can't stay up that long though so g'night :)

Blaine and his Jumpin' Jordy's card.  (The only
bounce house in our area.)

The next few pictures were taken at the Discovery
Museum in Ft. Collins, CO.

HG and her new baby "Siri"

Happy New Years! 

Well, Well...

Look who it is... Me :)

If there is a long break in me writing you must know that lots of things are happening, weird things are happening, or I ran off to Hawaii to live forever.  And since it is snowing... well, you know the latter is not true.

To catch you up, I'll resort to my favorite past time: List making!

1. Baking and Gift Giving Galore: The whole month of December was spent preparing for Christmas, family and presenting teachers, friends, and neighbors with homemade gifts.  They turned out beautiful and everyone raved about how good everything tasted.  If that doesn't get my kids moved up in the teacher's book, I don't know what would! :)

2. Grand Theft Auto (or something like that:)  Remember when I wrote about my purse being stolen?  Well it happened again.  Yes, I said I was robbed... again.  This time my car was actually broken into but I was at Hannah's school (instead of Blaine's) and my car was locked.  My purse was on the passenger side next to a brown paper bag.  I went in to drop Hannah off and 20 seconds later heard a car alarm, and when I went back outside this is what I saw:

Glass was/is everywhere.  In the trunk, the vents, the kid's car seats, under the seats and shards of glass were in every crack and crevice in my truck.  It's currently in the shop being cleaned.  For the second time in a month, the thief got my purse, including wallet and my second iPhone.  But this time they didn't throw my purse on the side of the road down the street.  Everything was gone and only 4 days before Christmas.  It was not a merry and bright day to say the least :(

3. Family: David's side of the family made the trek from Texas to be with us this Christmas so we had a full house and as it turns out a very white Christmas :)  It started snowing on Christmas Eve and snowed through Christmas morning.  The news said that Denver only has a white Christmas 13% of the time, so we were all very excited.  Marie made wonderful food for us and we ate out for several meals but there was no shortage of calories last week :)  Christmas Eve dinner, when we had Jesus' birthday party, was fondue and crab legs.  Uncle Matt and Pops skied a few times and David got out to snowboard once while they were here.  David has not had a vacation since starting at Trada last May so the time off for him has been wonderful to say the least.

Dressed up for church



These are our children who refuse to look at the camera.
Blonde1 and Blonde2!

Oh look, they have faces.

Many days of no nap = sleeping on the couch.

Christmas Eve dessert.

Perhaps the world's best carrot cake... Happy Birthday Jesus!

Before...

After.

Singing Happy Birthday to Jesus :)

So sweet.

4. Snowboarding: As I write this Blaine is taking his first ski/snowboard lesson at Eldora with David.  David has been texting me and says he is doing an amazing job!  (More proof that he did not get my non-athletic gene.) 

5. Much Needed Rest: I've taken all the Christmas decorations down today and after multiple errands which I hope to knock out tomorrow it will be time to rest and ponder what 2013 will bring for us.  I feel totally wiped out from this year's activity (not to mention the MOVE we made this year), a very enjoyable but hectic December, two invasions of my privacy and theft of my things and just life in general (like everyone else I'm sure.)  Hannah is a 13 year old in a 2 year old's body and Blaine is growing so fast now that my eyes fill with tears when I think about him entering Kindergarten in 2013.  I tried to carry him somewhere on my hip the other day as a joke and my back practically broke!  He's going to be so tall!

An iPad for Christmas which is now permanently
attached to Mister's hands.

I hope this update finds you all well.  Sending love and praying you have a happy and healthy new year...

Oh Wow

Not too many words describe the week I've had (well, not words that I can use here at least!)

This past Monday started out as any other Monday except that we were all eager to get through a short work and school week before the Thanksgiving festivities began.  We weren't running behind really (shocker) and David thought for a moment that he would be able to take the kids to school but after looking at his schedule decided against it, so I was the driver.  When the kids and I got on the highway that morning it was a parking lot, literally.  Cars were not moving and we were 20 minutes away from Blaine's school already with only 20 minutes to spare!  I quickly exited and took the back way to school arriving almost ten minutes after school started.  Ugh.

I threw my phone (which I will mention is a not-so-cheap iPhone that is only 4 months old) in the front of my purse which was sitting in the front passenger seat.  I grabbed my keys, hopped out and hurried the kids out of the car.  For some reason this morning two things crossed my mind:

1. I noticed two men standing about 30 feet away from me, in front of Blaine's small school building watching me and I thought what they were doing was strange.
2. I lock my car 90% of the time, especially in this new city of ours, but I was in a hurry and I thought very specifically to myself, "I'll be gone a moment... I'm at a preschool... my purse will be fine."

On any other day if I would've had these thoughts I am sure I would have grabbed my purse or locked my car.  Simple enough, I realize.  But on Monday I didn't and four minutes later when I came back out to my car my purse was gone.

Panic, questions, fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness all describe what I felt in those minutes following the realization that someone had violated me and my space and stolen my purse.  My mind raced through what was in my wallet - iPhone, wallet, medicine... Blaine's medicine.  My heart sunk.

I ran inside and one of the building administrators called campus police.  In the meantime I called David who headed up to Blaine's school to bring me some money for the day and help with Hannah.  Police arrived, asked me a bunch of questions and in so many words told me, "You're stuff is gone and you're probably not getting it back."  While I was trying to figure out what to do next David called the school to get me on the phone.  He was up the street, about two blocks away, and had found my purse in an empty parking lot on the same street he drove to get to the school.  Minutes later he was at the school with my purse.  Everything was taken out of my wallet and thrown into my purse.  They took my cash, phone and Blaine's medicine and left everything else. 

There is a high school behind Blaine's preschool so there are plenty of kids walking around the area and the officer thinks that it was probably some kids, or parents that had seen me on my phone and giving Blaine medicine in the car every day at pick-up.  Whoever it was got away with some pretty important items of ours and really ruined my day! :(

Blaine was devastated when I picked him up and told him what happened.  He sobbed and asked me what I thought, "God is telling the bad people" that took my phone and his medicine.  Several times throughout the day he told me that he thought God was going to "get them."  I assured him that God would take care of us, we prayed that the person would be convicted in their heart of wrongdoing, but I also told him that God still loved the person that took our things.  Not the response he was looking for, but the best I could come up with.  Today he asked me, "What kind of person steals?!" He is still working through the shock, I think, as am I.

So I've been without a phone, texting, and google maps for almost a week now.  'Weird' is an understatement.  We don't even have a house phone so I've been relying on email to communicate and since I'm not on Facebook anymore, I'm sure some people are wondering what the heck happened to me.  I did put a lock on my phone but when I went to Verizon today to get a new phone the guy told me that Cricket (the phone company) takes phones from any carrier and "flashes" them, (making them available to be used through Cricket's network and not just Verizon.)  They are the only carrier that will take stolen phones and do this.  The guy at Verizon said "they just want the business and don't care where it comes from."

Unfortunately I did not get a phone today because my contract is new so I can't use my upgrade credit which means that the phone I want is $700.00, instead of $300.00.  Bummer.  Big bummer.  I am going to try to find one on E-Bay now so I don't have to pay for one (because I won't spend that much on a phone.)  Until then I am going to be going old-school with no phone. 

So, if you need me... email or call David :)

Scene 4 - The End

Mr. Fleabuster comes and tells me that the "pesticides, though they are safe-as-they-can-be should not be touched by pets and children, so it would be best to keep your toddler and your pets off the ground (playing and eating) for about 60 days."


I laugh, but this is not a joke.


Mr. Fleabuster adds "and don't wash your floors for 60 days either".


When I realize that he is not kidding me and he really wants us to keep Blaine and the dogs off the floors for 60 days, I start crying (mostly from lack of sleep and frustration) and ask him what he would do. Flea-infested house (which carries its own set of problems) or poisoning my child and pets. Hmmm.


Mr. Fleabuster tells me he has a 7-month old son and he would not use the products in his own home and that I should not go forward.


I love honest people.


Dilemma: House clean, truck packed for day and night away from poisonous house, dogs at Nana's, no linens on beds... and there are fleas everywhere.


Solution: Organic, Chemical-Free pest control to the rescue.


Mr. OrganicFleaBuster can come... but not until tomorrow.


The Lyon's move back into the house. Linens on beds, start vacuuming (again).


More Vacuuming and cleaning. (oh, and by the way, working at work where I work!)


Mr. OrganicFleaBuster comes at 11:00 am.


Pack car, Blaine and dogs up - go to Nana's for the day.


Come home and put house back together.


And I will vacuum every day for 3 weeks. (sweet.)


BTW, Tug is still sick and Blaine has an ear infection. Dr. Habbinga and Dr. Dan treat patients (respectively) and on we go.


Phew... Expensive and tiring week.


But, here are some pictures of our sick boy... Wish I looked this good (and played this hard) when I was sick!