After a long absence and too many posts to catch up on it's a strange thing to be back here writing but it's the only thing I could think to do. I'm mostly writing this post to give God glory, but also, if the person that made this post possible is reading these words: thank you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
We can't seem to catch a break at the Lyon home and finally last night I confessed to my good friend Caren that I was over it. Totally worn out. Exhausted. And this ultra-marathon we've been running is overwhelming me. She knows what our family has been through the last decade and in particular the trials of the last several years, and months. I told her that I was really mad at God and I didn't care! I know what the Bible teaches, I know that my following Jesus does not exempt me or my family from pain, or heart ache or having crappy things happen. I know that my attempt at good works and my faith does not get me things in return from God. I know and believe, with all of my heart and soul, that my faith in Christ is everything but it does not make me immune to the reality of this world.
But dang, God, can we catch a break? Can something go right?
I went to bed and woke up to this post from Lysa TerKeurst: "Don't forget... God has been faithful before. He'll be faithful again... "So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised." Hebrews 10: 35-36 (NLT)
I meditated on His faithfulness and was reminded that EVERY SINGLE TIME I've needed Him He has answered. In fact, even when I thought I didn't need him, He was and is present, real, loving, and most of all Sovereign. Patient endurance is certainly what I needed to be reminded of today. And then Psalm 16 made its way back into my heart.
"Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Psalm 16: 9-11
Severan and I dropped Blaine off for his first day of school and headed home to jump into our Wednesday chores. We've had a crazy amount of solicitors calling us to sell us insurance lately so I haven't been answering the phone so while I was scrubbing the tub there came a few of these calls. Except some unknown number left a message this time.
When I clicked on this particular voicemail I had no idea that God would be reaching through this message to touch my life and that of my family, gently remind me of His unfathomable care, and humble me all at once.
A woman called to tell me that Hannah's (very expensive) registration and application fee had been paid for attendance at the Flatirons School - where we had hoped to send Hannah next year but just couldn't make it work financially before the deadline. Someone who has asked to remain anonymous called and put Hannah on the 2nd grade list and paid our fees. She said it was a gift from God and I couldn't agree more. I nearly collapsed on the floor as I felt the flood of God's provision come over me. I tried for about 30 minutes to call this woman back but couldn't stop crying. Finally, I composed myself and called her - only to sob my way through that call!
God answers prayers. He hears our call, knows (and can handle) our anger and he feels our pain. Some of my family's most desperate prayers have not been answered, but He has not abandoned us. And in the midst of a valley, He shines light into the darkness.
Thank you Jesus for making yourself known to us, again. Thank you, obedient servant of our Lord - whoever you are - for following His call and helping our family.
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