Thursday and Friday

The last two days have been emotional, mentally exhausting, and physically challenging.

First, I finally heard from Dr. Siddiqui today and he had nothing to report.  HG's biopsy results are not back yet but while I had him on the phone today I pressed him for some more information.  On Monday when he met with us after her procedure I asked him if he'd ever seen that kind of infection before.  He responded 'yes' and then said nothing else.  I brought that up today and just told him that I needed to know if what he'd seen before (that was like this) was life threatening.

His response: "No Ma'am."

No Ma'am.  What beautiful words for a mama to hear.  He told me it was probably a viral infection that has attached to the mucous membranes in the sigmoid colon.  He also said they could be infected immunity cells but that most likely this will be a viral problem and he is confident that the biopsy results will give us answers.  We're definitely looking forward to Monday and getting those results.

As far as how she is feeling she seems to be doing well.  Her vomiting has subsided and she is sleeping through the night now.  I think the GERD medicine is doing its job, so we're grateful for that.

Then, at 1:30 am this morning, I woke up to someone getting very sick... and that someone was my poor husband!  He has not been able to keep down any food or water all day today.  If he still can't keep anything down tomorrow morning we'll definitely be going to the clinic.

And this next piece of news has really shaken our family up.

A few days ago my boss and our mentor and friend, Keith, started feeling pretty bad.  He was having some stomach pain which led him to a variety of doctors and through a variety of tests.  I knew all of this was happening but didn't expect what would come next.  When I got home from work yesterday my phone rang and it was Keith.  I asked what they found out and, very gently and calmly, he explained to me that there was an internal blockage that was causing the stomach discomfort.  He went on to tell me that the blockage is the result of the bile duct being squeezed shut because of a tumor that is pressing on it.  The tumor happens to be next to his liver and due to its location, it is inoperable.

Keith then went on to tell me a few different things about some business he was going to take care of and asked how I might be able to help during this time.  I couldn't and didn't believe that we were actually having that conversation so I didn't respond at first because I didn't really know what was happening or what he was telling me.  I slowly began to hyperventilate and said between breaths, "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me.  Are you saying that this... this... is going to... kill you?"

I then heard his tears falling and heard the words, "Yes, that is what I am telling you."

Shock.  Disbelief.  Sadness.  And then more shock.  I asked more questions but kept getting the same answer.

This morning I met Keith and Andrea at the hospital where Keith was being prepped for surgery.  They went in to drain the backed up bile, insert a stent so that the bile duct can do its job, (despite the pressure from the tumor), and they also took a biopsy of the tumor and the liver.  The biopsy results should be back on Monday.  Until then Keith will probably remain in the hospital.

When it rains, it pours.  But I am grateful that I do not feel despair or overwhelming feelings of hopelessness.  In fact, I've been experiencing just the opposite.  God's peace and love are the only things that will carry me (and Keith and our family) through this time and despite the total mental and physical exhaustion I am experiencing I have a lot of hope.